12-09-10

+ 'i've got my christmas tree, you can relax everyone', craig ferguson shares, 'i got it last weekend. it was the usual disaster, i go to pick out the tree, i throw it in the back of the car. first you have to clean off all the disgusting things living in the tree, the insects, the mice, randy quaid- get them all off! then i got the tree home, this happens to me ever year, i get the tree home and the stand is broken- its always broken! its fine when i get it, then i take it home and its leany. i try fixing it and it breaks then i get all mad. i get the tree back in the car and i drive it back where i bought it, which is a parking lot near where we live. in the winter they sell trees, in the fall they sell pumpkins, in the summer they sell crack. and i'm prepaired to yell at them, i'm like 'the tree! the stand!' and they couldnt be nicer. they fixed my stand, they gave me free decorations, and free crack! thanks, rotery club. i've heard people critizice the whole idea of having a christmas tree. you are chopping down a living thing to put in your house. the kind of people who say that usually have flowers in their hair. ah ha! flowers that have been yanked from the ground and torn from their roots. to these people i say 'bite me'. but they wont bite me because they are vegans. i tell them to go bite my vegtable then. when i was driving to get the christmas tree my son was with me. i was all mad at the christmas tree people and they were very nice. i was driving back home and my son says 'see dad, it works out all right'. i said 'yeah, i guess'. hes 9 and he says 'dad, you know how you get there are glass half full people, and there are glass half full people?' i go 'yeah?' 'you are a glass completely empty type person'.'

- lucy liu

# jody williams winner of the nobel peace prize. she is really mean for a peace prize winner...

poor geoff!

russell brand, always a great guest on 'the late late show with craig ferguson', seems to have a problem with geoff peterson. or at least he did on his latest visit! after talking with craig for a bit, geoff peterson piped in and russell lashed out at him for fear of a robot uprising, it would seem. he poured his drink over geoff peterson's head! after a little more talking with craig, russell returned to geoff and pushed him around, causing the top of his head to fall off, then russell grabbed the geoff's mug and stand and bashed him over the head with it! poor geoff! it was pretty funny, though. sure hope geoff's circuits didnt get fried and he still works tomorrow...

12-08-10

+ 'now today is actually a very sad anniversary', craig ferguson states, 'it was thirty years ago today that john lennon died, which is a terrible loss still felt, of course. its impossible to over emphasize how important john lennon was to music. first with the beatles then solo. its an amazing journey. in just a few years the beatles went from 'she loves you, yeah yeah yeah' to the trippy stuff. the only modern act to evolve like that was when madonna went from material girl to a british dude. 'like a virgin, touched for the very first time!' the beatles went through many stages of their brief career, there was the fresh faced cherib phase, the shaggy around the ears phase, the beardy ass hippie phase. ive been doing this show six years and i'm stuck in one phase: crap. but the beatles are easily the best musicians named after a bug. sorry, adam ant. take that, scorpions. so long, lady bug gaga. when i first heard the beatles song 'love me do' i thought it was 'love me dude'. i guess you hear what you want to hear... all the beatles songs have just been released on the itunes of course. this is great news for people like me. and by people like me, i mean people who are too old to know how to download music illegally! 'eh, where does the coin go?' beatlemania was huge at the time. in the uk, when the beatles left for america for the first time, there were thousands of screaming fans showed up at the airport to see them go. it was the same when i left scotland for america, a very similar situation. except the people who showed up at the airport were just there to make sure i didnt come back!

- russell brand hilarious and brilliant as ever, this time though, he took out a bit of rage on geoff peterson!

* richard wolffe

12-07-10

+ 'if you live here in los angeles, youve probably noticed the crisp smell in the air that can only mean one thing', craig ferguson shares, 'award season is with us again. its the time when tv and film critics nominate shows that arent this one. today the nominations were announced for the anny awards, which is short for animation awards. the anny awards used to be the animation industry's highest honor, now the highest honor in animation is getting 750 million dollars per picture. when i first heard about the anny awards i thought 'finally, they are recognizing all of us who played annie on stage!' it was the highlight of my career! anyway, the most anny nominations went today to a little film called 'how to train your dragon'. i'm rooting for that one because peter travers from rolling stone called it 'the sublime entertainment that will charm your socks off', and because i'm in it! a ha! i've done a lot of voice work for cartoons. it makes sense. what child doesnt light up when they hear a middle aged alcoholic talk show host! 'hey kids! the sun'll come out tomorrow!' anyway, im doing the voice of owl in the next 'winnie the pooh' movie. thats true. i've been preparing by eating mice and trying to twist my head all the way around. my character in 'how to train your dragon' had a hook for a hand. i'm a method actor so i wore a hook for the entire month i did the film. nearly tore off my wiener. i think its weird though having an award show for cartoons. what do you ask the characters on the red carpet? 'hey goofy, you look fabulous, who drew you tonight?' 'ga, kids in korea, g-huck!'.'

- carrie fisher she presented craig with the latest thing in australia: a kangaroo scrotum. yikes!

* dennis lehane

12-06-10

+ bob saget stops by to plug his new show and inadvertently tell a few dirty jokes.

+ 'theres a huge snow storm in the middle of the country', craig ferguson shares, 'its cold out there, i'm telling you, cold! anyway, they say we are in for a pretty harsh winter this year. this is because we are under the influence of 'la nina'. now, if you dont speak spanish, that means 'the nina'. the affect of la nina is being felt all over the country, except for arizona. apparently la nina doesnt have her papers. i think everyone should use this winter storm to appreciate natures beauty. remember, no two snowflakes are alike: some are big, some are little, some are dirty, some melt on your tongue. they are like tiny little frozen kardashians... its been a little bit chilly here in l.a., a cold snap like this can cause fights over who controls the thermostat in the house. for example, i like to keep our house relatively cool at 65 degrees, but my wife likes to crank it up to 70 degrees. so we compromise and keep it at 70 degrees. if you think 'thats not compromise!' then youre not married.'

# katie couric

> al madrigal

12-03-10

+ 'this weekend is a big weekend for those of you who like alcohol', craig ferguson informs, 'you know, the booze, the happy juice, the randy quaadahol. it was on this weekend in 1933 prohibition was repealed. i dont know why they repealed it, it was such a great idea. making something illegal always stops its use. what force is stronger than a citizens desire to follow the law? well, crack i suppose. and meth. and smurf dust. yes, there is a street drug called smurf dust. see young people, i'm just like you! prohibition was made possible by the passage of the 18th amendment, and then after that came the 19th amendment which gave women the right to vote. theres a double wammy right there, no booze and then you have to listen to womens opinions about stuff. am i right, chauvinists? am i right?'

- kristen bell its an 'all kristen all the time' episode as kristen bell joins craig for the intro, the tweets and emails, and as a guest!

= michael franti talks and sings

craig's grammy nomination

'its a great day for me!' craig ferguson recently shared on his show, 'i know what you are thinking, 'its always a great day for you, with your cheap suit'. no, its not true. my days are usually filled with tears, self loathing, and a very bad smell... i'm onion intolerant. its a good day for me because last night i got nominated for a grammy award! yes, thats right, the award you'd expect me to get nominated for, the most prestigious award in music. why not give it to a dork on tv in the middle of the night! i'm not sure what i think about this nomination. i think the grammys might have officially 'jumped the shark'. i was nominated for an audiobook of my autobiography, the spoken word category. it was the same category al gore won for his book. anyway, look, i dont get nominated for a lot of stuff, so i feel very good about this. last time i was nominated for anything was for my sex tape: best solo performance. anyway, this grammy nomination brings me one step closer to my lifetime goal of losing every major award in hollywood!'
good luck, craig!

12-02-10

+ 'last night i was nominated for a grammy!' criag ferguson exclaims, 'it was for my audiobook of my biography. l l cool j told me i was nominated, and i was thinking 'man, this night couldnt get better!' but then it did! there was a live satellite hook-up with justin bieber. the young girls were screaming so much they shattered something very valuable: cher's face! last night i was talking to these journalists and they were saying 'justin is an internet sensation!' and i'm thinking 'oh really? is that a big deal?' you can be an internet sensation if you can auto tune your farts or if you can get drunk and eat a burger off the floor you are an internet sensation!'
- cedric the entertainer
+ chris hardwicke stops by to help with the tweets and emails and gets a 'team secretariat' shirt!
= norah jones

12-01-10

+ 'have you seen the new russian issue of vogue magazine?' craig ferguson inquires, 'neither have i! no, this is true, in the december issue of the russian vogue magazine there is a video ad. a video ad in a magazine! its an ad for dulce and gabana liquor. i'm like 'dulce and gabana make liquor?' so when you are passed out in a pool of vomit you look fabulous? but i never heard of a video ad in a magazine. we may have beat the russians into space, but they are kicking our ass in magazine technology! thats right, the space race. thats my topical humor right there! take that, sputnik! anyway, apparently what you do is when you open the magazine a tiny video screen plays a commercial. its somehow both adorable and sinister. back in my day if i wanted to see moving pictures in a magazine i had to get high by eating the perfume samples! you just get sick and your poop smells like 'eternity'. anyway, i'm not surprised we are getting video ads in magazines. advertisers are scrambling these days cause people dvr their favorite tv shows and skip past the commercials, except people who watch this show, they cant wait for the commercials! 'hey honey, fast forward through the scottish guy, i want to learn about boner pills'.'

- regis philbin

> wendy liebman

team secretariat shirts

for the last month or so on 'the late late show with craig ferguson', craig has been obsessed with secretariat. it all stemmed from the disney film that recently came out. ever since the film came out craig has had the door bell ring during his tweets and emails segment and has seen a dancing secretariat come out to wild applause! craig has loved it so much that the doorbell has been ringing during other segments as well. whenever the horse comes out during an interview, craig and the guest jump up and start dancing. now craig is taking it to a new level: when ever a guest dances along to the secretariat song, he awards them a 'team secretariat' shirt! when talking to salman rushdie, the first to receive a shirt, he said 'because you danced with secretariat, i've issued a new regime of giving a free tee shirt to everyone who dances with secretariat!'

recipiants so far:
salman rushdie
chris hardwicke
kristen bell
katie couric
neil patrick harris
ali the audience member

want one for yourself? find one here!

11-30-10

+ 'its a great day if you love john wayne', craig ferguson shares, 'and who doesnt? i'll tell you who doesnt: al quida. 'i hate john wayne, his american manliness is stronger than my love for jihad!' if you like john wayne, and i do, there is an auction here in hollywood that you should about. it features one of the most interesting pieces of memorabilia from his career. its not his six shooter, its not his cowboy hat, its not his leather chaps, i got those last year, its his wig! john waynes wig from the movie 'el dorado'! by the way, if you dont speak spanish, el dorado means 'the dorado'. anyway, i know what you are thinking 'wait a minute craig, john wayne wasnt bald! at least not upstairs...' not many people know this, john wayne actually wore wigs in all of his movies since 1948. i'm ok with that though, its not embarrassing to wear a wig for a job. at least thats what i tell myself when i'm out on the street hookin'. john wayne made up for any wig related weirdness with his walk. i cant do it, it just looks like i have a wedgie. anyway, if you are thinking about getting john waynes wig, let me make one thing clear: buying his wig will not make you tough like him. in fact, if you are buying wigs at all, you probably arent tough. john wayne was tough because his real name was marrion morrison, thats true. a boy will grow up tough if you name him something that questions his masculinity. like marrion, or a boy named sue, or lady gaga. thats right, theres meat under the dress too!'

- dj qualls stops by to help with the tweets and emails

* salman rushdie

arthur and craig

after realizing last week that there was a french talk show that has been stealing material from 'the late late show with craig ferguson', the host of that show steps out in front the the camera at the beginning of tonight's episode:
'bonjour!' welcomes the french talk show host arthur.
'hey, woah! what are you doing?' craig asks as he walks in.
'i'm doing the show' arthur answers,
'no, you are doing MY show! you are copying me!' craig fumes.
'ridiculous. bizarre' arthur responds.
'really? i put it to you arthur, if thats really your name. which its not, it jaque', craig announces.
'you are an idiot. it was not a copy, it was an homage. a tribute to your abilities' arthur says.
'what about when i saw you this morning walking my dog?' craig asks.
'also a tribute to your unique talents, and your dog really needs a bath'.
'what about last night when i caught you kissing my wife?'
'also a tribute to you. also, your wife needs a bath'.
'you are just copying everything i do!'
'no, you are just copying everything i say'
'oh no, not this old trick'
'oh no, not this old trick' arthur repeats.
'this is so juvenile, just repeating everything i say'
'no, it is you who is repeating everything i say, and its not easy with my english. and as you say, my show airs in france, 9 time zones ahead of los angeles. to repeat everything i say you must be some kind of psychic, possibly a witch, a kind of old gay harry potter' arthur implores.
'how dare you!'
'i propose that we burn you to get ride of you and your witchcraft' arthur states.
'you are good. you are very good...' craig admits.
'wee'
'this isnt over...' craig fumes as he walks off stage.

read an article about the whole strange mess here!

11-29-10

+ 'today i'm talking about wiki leaks', craig ferguson states, 'the leaked documents, most of it is just stuff sent between offices, just interoffice gossip. you know, the kind you email about coworkers. little jokes about your boss, little kitty cats hanging off branches, text photographs of you genitals. by the way, cbs cares, never send pictures of your genitals to your coworkers. send them to me! my email address is andyrooney@theinternet./google.cbs.com. you wait to see '60 minutes' on sunday! 'dont you hate it when you get unsolicited photographs of genitals? me neither!' anyway, now wiki leaks, theyve done good in the past, but i dont know if this latest release helps anyone. by the way, if you really want to keep something very secret, give it to the cbs publicity department. i'm not fucking kidding! they've got a wealth of information that no one will ever know about. this show, for example. or the humanitarian work of charlie sheen...'

+ arthur, the french copycat, stops by to help craig with tweets and emails.

- michael sheen

+ craig and arthur, recreating a scene from 'casablanca', say their fond farewells and head off into the sunset together.

11-24-10

+ 'now today, of course, was the busiest travel day of the year', craig ferguson announces, 'now, i'm not making this up, the TSA, the most popular organization in america right now, the TSA issued a reminder that gravy is not an allowed liquid. thats true! they actually had to tell people not to bring ziploc bags of gravy onto airplanes. so let me get this straight, they wont touch your gavy, but they will touch your jiblettes. the TSA has got the new pat down proceedure thats got everyone up in arms about it, cause its a lot more ball grabby. but let me tell you, if a stranger grabbing my nuts is the price we have to pay for security, then give me all the security i can handle! you better look again, we wont to be safe! anyway, lets not blame the TSA employees. do you think they were thrilled when the bosses came in and said 'ok, starting next week we are cupping everyones balls!' theyve got a job to do and they are doing it, so be sure to give them a smile and tip generously!'

- dwayne johnson the Rock! man, he's awesome! go see 'faster', its really good!

-> paula deen

11-23-10

+ 'its a terrible day if you are in south korea', craig ferguson admits, 'did you hear about this? they were attacked by north korea, now the two nations are on the brink of a war. sounds like that pint sized madman, kim jung ill, is up to his old tricks! actually experts are saying that the person behind the attacks is not him, but his son. aw, kids grow up so fast! 'dad, i just want to borrow the army for a few hours!' anyways, never mind south korea and war, its a big night if you like dancing, or stars of course. the finalle was on tonight. congratulations, winner. now he or she goes off and... does whatever you do when you win. well, tomorrow they are on the view, thats what you do if you win dancing with the stars. you go on the view and barbara walters will go all old school and teach them the lindy hop or something. anyway, the three dancing with the stars finalists are bristol palin, jennifer grey, and a guy named kyle massey. no, i have no idea who he is either. they all defeated david hassellhoff and the mom from the brady bunch. beating hassellhoff isnt that difficult, you just distract him by throwing a burger on the floor. 'hey dave, whats that?' i dont want to get all preachy, but its a harsh indictment of our news media as we lurch towards possible nuclear war on the korean peninsula, that all anyone can talk about is dancing with the stars. me included! isnt it time journalists started asking the hard hitting questions like what does kim jung ill think about dancing with the stars?'

- mark ruffalo he played the mouth organ with craig, and was actually really good!

- kathryn hahn

french ferguson copycat

it recently came to craig ferguson's attention that there is a french talk show that has been stealing from his show. the french show, called 'ce soir avec arthur', and it is almost the exact same thing as craig's show, stealing his puppet bits and his sing-alongs and everything! they even stole his opening sequence! what did craig have to say about this? 'be honest, do i look french to you? i dont, right?' craig says, 'im on the tweety box every now and agan, and sometimes i go on twitter as well... so i was on the twitter and someone tweeted me on the twitter a clip of this show they saw in france. its a french talk show. i looked at it and im like 'huh?' they have a clip of the show and its a straight rip off of my show! what?!? and its better lit than this! i'm looking at it and thinking its a coincidence, surely. theres no way, he just happens to have the puppets as me and do kind of the same thing. let me just look a the title sequence of this show along with the title sequence of my show, so i did. they are almost a shot for shot remake! a couple things, one: great music, two: what the fuck is going on?!? listen, if you are going to steal from a show, at least steal from a good show like 'lost', or 'the wire'. dont steal from this show! thats like taking pants from a hobo! you cant steal from us, we dont have anything!'

see it for yourself here.

11-22-10

+ 'i was in nashville this weekend', craig ferguson states, 'i had a blast doing stand-up this weekend. when i got to the theater i saw this line around the block and i thought 'yes!', i knew right away that i was performing right next to a theater showing the harry potter movie. that movie made so much money this weekend, my audience was the only people in america that didnt give a rats ass about harry potter. or, i suppose, they could have seen both harry potter, then me, made it a double bill. first the gay wizard with the enormous magic wand, then harry potter. i packed light for nashville, just a couple shirts and my ass kicking boots. i made the boots myself, but i wont say what i made them out of. lets just say that my house is a couple ferrets lighter... its a joke, alright? its a joke ferret loving wren fair crazy people! its a joke! i dont have ferrets, i'm not actually french, my penis is actually regular size! one of those isnt true...'

- ben stein

# lisa masterson

= the very best

11-19-10

+ 'everyone is very excited about the big movie opening today', craig ferguson shares, 'and when i say everyone is excited about it, i do mean everyone... well, i mean children and teenagers and creepy middle aged dudes, because harry potter and the deathly hollows opens this weekend! thats right, i'm going quiddich crazy! sure, russell crowe has a big movie opening up this weekend too, but does russell crowe have a big magic wand? its got to be dissappointing making a movie and then finding out your movie gets released the same day as harry potter. its like going to a strip club and then realizing you are sitting next to bill clinton. actually, the harry potter movies arent really for me. why? because i am an adult. if you are a grown man watching a movie for teenagers, i have one thing to say to you: shame on you, roman polanski! no, harry potter is awesome, its a global phenomenon. even osama bin laden likes harry potter. thats true, in the last tape he said 'death to all westerners, except perhaps for harry potter'. this harry potter movie is so good though, that they had to split the movie in two parts. part two doesnt come out until next june. now its obviously why they split the movie in two. the producers said, and i qoute, 'its to do justice to the words and ideas in the amazing story'. which is hollywood talk for 'we can make twice as much'.

* amy sedaris

# adam savage and jamie hyneman from mythbusters

11-18-10

+ 'today is a very special day actually', craig ferguson shares, 'its the 35th annual great american smoke out today. if you are out there smoking, knock it off. 43 million american smoke. and they say today, cause this is the day you are meant to stop, the best way to quite is not to start. i hate it when they say stupid stuff like that. its not helpful, its easier to stop if you dont start, or look before you leep, or dont put your penis in the vacuum cleaner. yeah, now you tell me, its too late! if you had told me before i wouldnt have done it! it says on the box 'ball vacuum'! the demographic most likely to start smoking, this is true, is teenagers. now this is because teenagers love doing stupid stuff. this is true, we know that. who besides teenagers would fall in love with a sensitive vampire or a twinky werewolf. 'hes got feelings'- hes a vampire, you idiot! the reason teenagers start smoking is because they think its cool. its rebellious again. ive thought of a fool proof plan to get teens to stop smoking is to give cigarettes embarrassing names. not cool names like winston or salem or anything like that, they should give them names like 'camel toes', or 'bottom frolics'. just straight out call them penises! what teenager is going to go up to the counter and say 'give me a pack of penises'. no one is going to say that! no one is going to walk up to someone and say 'can i bum a penis?'. i worry that the banning of cigarettes is restoring some of the coolness of them. i dont think we should treat smokers like criminals, they should be treated like normal people, normal people with terrible breath and teeth the color of post-its!'

+ access extratainment tonight with barny slash and john tesh. man, these things just keep getting weirder and weirder...

- jeff goldblum

11-17-10

+ 'its a great day for our friends over in the uk', craig ferguson shares, 'cause everyone over there is talking about prince williams engagement, hes marrying his long time girlfriend kate middleton. the looks great, she's actually normal looking! according to british law, when she gets married, shes third in line to be queen. so, move over elton john. the royal family is elated, william reportedly sat down with prince charles and said 'dad, i've got great news!' 'what? grandma's dead?' poor prince charles, he's afraid he will never be king. he spends more time hugging the thrown than a bolemic supermodel. after he heard the news, prince charles pulled his son aside and said 'son, marriage is a lot of hard work. i know because someone once told me what hard work was, and it sounded a bit like marriage'. now, i make fun of prince charles, but thats not fair. he's done a decent job of raising those sons, william and harry, they both went into the military. harry risked his life in afganistan, william is a rescue helicopter pilot for the r.a.f. just last month he had his first rescue mission: he swooped down and saved someone from eating british food 'dont do it, blood pudding is actually made of blood!' 'what? i cant hear you over the helicopter!'. if your british, you might as well be excited about the royal wedding, cause you are paying for it... some british people think that your favorite royal says a lot about who you are. for instance, if your favorite royal is queen elizabeth you are distinguished and respectful, if your favorite royal is prince harry you are impish and irreverent. if your favorite royal is prince charles, then you are prince charles.'

- russell crowe

craig ferguson's doctor who intro

what a shame! craig ferguson and his crew had prepared an introduction for the dr. who themed episode, but found out after they had filmed it that they had not secured the rights to the dr. who theme music! 'so tonight because its a dr. who special, we had this idea to do with the dr. who theme music' craig shares, 'i had written some words over top of it, and we all did a dance number and we rehearsed it, the last two days we rehearsed it, rehearsed it like crazy! the puppets were in it, we were like 'ooh!' and there was a whole big thing, cause i know you enjoy the puppet intros, and i do to. and look, these guys dont dress like this all the time! so anyway, five minutes before we start tonight, i'm not kidding, five minutes, the producers, and i use that term loosely, they came to me and said 'craig, we havent got legal clearance to use the song. i said 'you fucking assholes! what the fuck?!?' but luckily i didnt let it get me angry or affect me in any way...'
later in the show as he is talking to chris hardwicke, craig says 'it would be a shame if someone were to leak the intro online...' and wouldnt you know it, someone did! check out the hilarious intro with craig, his dancers, geoff, secretariat, and even with dr. who himself: matt smith! you can find it on chris' website here. check it out, its really funny!

11-16-10

the dr. who themed episode!

+ criag ferguson apologizes for not being able to perform the theme song from dr. who because they didnt get clearance for the music rights to it. he was quite pissed about the whole thing!

+ 'it is a great day for us at this show, and a great day for me personally', craig ferguson shares, 'because matt smith is here, the star of the dr. who show. this show, dr. who, has been close to my heart since i was a young girl. now, if youve never seen the dr. who show, its on bbc america. i like bbc america, its not as good as cbs of course. now, for those of you who have never seen dr. who, first of all wha?!? secondly, its about a time lord, alien, a doctor if you will, that travels through time in a phone booth. an idea that was flat out stolen by bill and ted. excellent adventure, my ass! by the way, 'excellent adventure my ass' is the name of a movie i've had an idea to write. i'll try to get keanu reeves, but i dont think he will do it... anyway, matt smith plays the dr. now i like the dr., cause hes not like a regular superhero, hes like a different superhero. he doesnt fly, he doesnt have laser beam eyes, he doesnt have six pack abs, he has intellect. he has intellect, an attainable power for all. he achieves things with just his mind. and a phone booth that travels through time, and the power to regenerate his body from one form into another, and a magical screwdriver. but apart from that, hes just like us. now the doctor has been played by 11 different people, kind of like cher. technically cher is one person, but is made up from parts of 11 different people. thats why dr who has been on tv for so long, you see, cause when the main actor quits they replace him with another one and they say he regenerated. see? at least they explained it, when dick york turned into dick sargent on bewitched they didnt even bother to explain it! by the way, dick sargent was my rank in the west hollywood volunteer army... they didnt ask, and i didnt tell.'

+ chris hardwick, a HUGE doctor who fan, stops by to help with the tweets and emails!

- matt smith his first american interview ever!

11-15-10

+ craig ferguson shows off a dalek, one of the bad guys from dr. who, in anticipation of the dr. who themed episode on tomorrow.

+ its a great day for our president obama', craig ferguson states, 'a few hours from now his new book hits the stores, he wrote a childrens book. good for him, i say. its called 'of thee i sing'. he actually wrote the book a couple of years ago. i dont think the book publishers are that smart though, they had this book a couple of years ago, and they are thinking 'obama is so popular, if we wait two years into his presidency he will be even more popular!' oops. all the royalties of obama's book will go an organization that needs the money: the obama reelection campaign. i look forward to your letters... no, the royalties are actually going to a scholarship fund. a lot of people think that writing a childrens book will be easy, but its not. you need to write things down and draw pictures! you need to have a moral, or a lesson at the end, like green eggs and ham. the moral was you can eat spoiled meat if you want. anyway, dr. suess was one of the greatest children's book writers of all time. though he was great, but to be fair, it is easier to write a story that rhymes if you just make up words in the middle of it. if you want to impress me, dr. suess, you should try to rhyme a difficult word like nantucket! dr. suess wasnt a real doctor, just like dr. phil. it would be really annoying though if your real doctor could only speak in rhymes: 'to read your file i need my spectacles, now pull down your pants and show me your testicles'.'

- dennis miller

- bianca kajilich

11-12-10

+ 'theres a new movie out today that i'm very excited about', craig ferguson admits, 'its called 'unstoppable'. its about a train thats... unstoppable. cause when i first heard about a movie called unstoppable, i thought its about me with a bedazzler. you've got to think though, that a solution for a runaway train seems pretty simple. 'aw, the trains out of control!' well, we'll stay out off the tracks then. just stay off the tracks, lower the gates, then we will wait till the train runs out of gas. but that would be the end of the movie though, wouldnt it? its like that movie return of the king. 'the kings back. right.' you know in old movies they used to use a shot of a train going through a tunnel as code for sex. for a long time i thoughts thats how you made a baby. and thats the story of how my penis was run over by a train. anyway, the movie unstoppable stars denzel washington and chris pine. now, i like chris pine, he was captain kirk in the new star trek movie. he piloted the spaceship enterprise, and now he's driving the train in this movie. now obviously this guy is good at operating heavy machinery in a movie. and right now the producers of a movie called 'crazy fork lift' are going 'weve found our man!'.'

+ billy gardell stops by to help out with the twitters and emails.

- carrie ann inaba

= bettye lavette

11-11-10

+ 'its a great day for all 4500 passengers of the carnival cruise ship', craig ferguson informs, 'its finally home today. they were stranded in the pacific ocean since monday. it was only supposed to be a three hour tour. the passengers thought they were going on a luxury cruise to the mexican riviera. a few hours into the voyage the power went out, they were left with no electricity, no food, no working bathrooms. it was like spending a week with randy quaid. anyway the cruise ship was towed back in to san diego today. and then the passengers, they gave them a full refund and a free ticket for another cruise! thats like getting food poisoning at a restaurant and then having the waiter ask if you want a doggie bag! when the power went out all the food on the ship spoiled and then the navy had to send in food. it was flown in by the crew of the uss ronald regan, and then later the crew of the uss bill clinton flew in jello shots and cigars. 'you dont have to smoke em'. ive always wanted to be a captain on one of these cruises, id wear my little captains had and talk like a pirate 'its happy hour right now at the barrr'. the only downside of being the captain of a ship is that you are expected to go down with it if it sinks. unless your the captain of a gay cruise, then sinking isnt a requirement for going down...'

- rosie perez

# rampage jackson

11-10-10

+ craig ferguson pitches a new comic book superhero to stan lee: invisible clothes man! for some reason stan doesnt go for it.

+ 'its a great day if you like andy warhol', craig ferguson shares, 'yesterday andy warhol's painting of a coke bottle sold for a record 34 million dollars. it only says 'coca-co', and for an extra 10 million they give you the 'la'. actually, its supposed to be like that, thats what makes it art. otherwise it would just be a commercial. not that theres anything wrong with commercials, i love commercials, they are my bread and butter. or, whos sponsoring tonight? not bread and butter, my guess is they are my car and boner pills... people say they buy art like this because its a great conversation piece. but i'm thinking what kind of conversation is inspired by a seven foot painting of a coke bottle? 'well, thats a big coke bottle there' 'yup' 'so, do you have a painting of a glass with some ice?'. you know, andy warhol painted soup cans that sold for millions. which i bet must piss of the guy who actually painted the cans!'

+ intern rehearsal theater

- tim meadows
* stan lee

11-09-10

+ 'president obama is in indonisia today and meeting with the current president there', craig ferguson shares, 'president obama lived in indonisia as a kid, and its always weird going back to your childhood haunts. it would be like me going back to scotland to see the dumpsters i slept in and the jail cells i woke up in. but theres also bad memories, so i dont know if i would. i like it when politicians visit the places they spent their youth, cause we learn something about them. during the bush administration, dick chaney would often go back to the death star. you know when president obama lived in indonisia he was known as berry. thats what everyone called him: barry. thats adorable! its not unusual to have a different name as a kid, when i was growing up people called me tubby. and when i say people, i mean my family. barry doesnt sound much like a president though, barry sounds like a guy who gets drunk at a party and throws up in an aquarium. 'barry threw up in the aquarium and the fish ate it!' 'well, thats barry!' 'thats barry' was filmed in front of a live studio audience... anyway, i read this today: when obama was living in indonisia he had a gay nanny. it what you call, i suppose, a ganny. this is true, the gay nanny joined a transvestite dance group. you cant make this up, its true! the gay nanny joined a transvestite dance group called 'the fantastic dolls'. i dont think they needed to be called 'fantastic', i think its implied! the fantastic dolls were just like the pussycat dolls only without the... well, nevermind what they were without. do you know that when the news came out that obama had a gay nanny that became a transvestite, glen beck stopped crying for a minute.'

- cheryl hines

-> wolfgang puck

criag's assistant bridger

criag ferguson introduces the newest assistant on his show, bridger wineger! craig starts off the show by interrogating him: 'its bridger, everybody! ever worked on any other late night shows before?' he replies 'yeah, i worked for the letterman show'. 'oh, david letterman? at 11:30 on cbs? so lets see, you are a red haired gentleman. that would be fare to say, wouldnt it? you used to be on at 11:30, but now you have changed your time slot. let me put it to you, bridger, if thats really your name! that your idea was to actually be on tbs with your new show, but somehow you slipped in here with all our glamour! dude, you have to know that working for dave to working here is not a step up... well, we wont to make you welcome, so everyone who watching this show would like to welcome you. is this your first day?" craig asks. 'its my second week' bridger responds. 'i dont pay a lot of attention around here. but i ran into you today, didnt i? i said 'your new kid, arent you?' i asked if you wanted to be on tv and you said that you already have been on dave. bridger, imagine yourself in a 19th century private school in britain. i will be performing the role of school bully. you will play the cute young boy that everyone identifies with but they secretly like me because i'm the sexy one... its not going to be like that, dont worry. but i do warn you, occasionally we do musical numbers and the cutest member of staff has to dress up in the leather outfit. did they mention that in the interview?'
follow bridger's twitter account here!

11-08-10

+ 'its a big night for tv tonight', craig ferguson shares, 'earlier tonight president bush sat down for an hour long interview with matt louwer, and i watched the whole thing because we are live, and it was awesome! i liked it when matt louwer asked him about that thing and then bush gave him that answer and matt used his listening face, then i liked it when bush turned the tables and he started asking matt questions like 'is that stuff on your head really hair or is it metal filings? why arent there term limits on willard scott? where did you put the rest of al roker?' he could have asked them that! anyway, bush, george w. bush was on promoting his new memoir. memoir is a fancy french word for 'a bunch of stuff that happened to me'. in the future, of course, people wont write memoirs. cause we've got the twitter now, so they write as it happens. but its mundane stuff like 'had a sandwich. met bob saget. slightly disappointed. i thought bob was gay, he didnt seem to be gay, but he did buy the sandwich'. anyway, bush's memoir is a 512 pages long. thats a lot, but to be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles. in the middle there is an iraq maze thats almost impossible to get out of...'

- tom selleck

> myq kaplan

11-05-10

due to dvr failure, this episode has been lost.

11-04-10

+ during the tweets and email answering segment, craig ferguson shares. he receives a twitter from amanda in kansas city. she says 'dear craig, do you ever get nervous before a show?' criag replies 'no. sometimes i get nervous during a show, but...' another email from ann in anchorage alaska asks 'dear craig, on a first date, whats the safest thing to order? should i be concerned with the price?' craig responds 'no. order the most expensive thing you can think of. you should order a car. then you would know if he's genuinely interested'
- dick van dyke

- kerry washington

11-03-10

+ 'finally the 2010 elections are over.' craig ferguson shares, 'finally we can get started on the campaign for 2012! hurray! after the elections last night fox news was like 'its a big upset!' and msnbc was like 'there were no surprises', and the E channel was like 'we need more kardashians!', the bravo channel was like 'your not wearing that, mister', and cbs was like 'finally nothing new about charlie sheen!' i watched the election coverage last night on cnn and i was very distracted, theres a lot of guys hunched over a bunch of laptops, a lot of noise going on, they were constantly being interrupted by the loud graphics and computer updates and the text messages from brett favre. 'wow, theres a big swing to the right in minnesota'. well not that big, but its cold in minnesota. you know who did very well yesterday was the tea party! wow! they say that the tea party is sending a message, but i'm not sure what that message is. i think the message is 'were the tea party, we hate... coffee'. you know, i just think they need to pick a tougher name, thats what i'm saying. tea party doesnt sound that intimidating, it sounds like something i do every sunday with my ferrets.'

+ lewis black stops by to help with emails and tweets

- jayma mays

= dr. dog

11-02-10

due to dvr failure, this episode has been lost.

11-01-10

+ 'of course, here in america, its election eve', craig ferguson states, 'tis the night before election and all through the house people are shouting crap at each other! anyways, its the night before the big midterm elections and the republicans are saying 'its time for a change', and democrats are saying 'stay the course', and charlie sheen is saying 'wheres my pants? i had a watch.' anyway, what i'm saying is that a candidates personality is not more important than their beliefs. when i vote for a politician i dont care about their personality, i just want the job done. its just like hiring a plumber. you dont hire a plumber for the conversation, you just want them to fix the sink and show you his ass crack. actually, let me tell you, sometimes i dont even want the sink fixed!'

- tyler perry

- sophia bush

10-29-10

+ 'it is friday, and its a big weekend coming up, its halloween on sunday', craig reminds, 'halloween on sunday is kind of nice, i can spend the whole weekend fine tuning my costume. i'm going to be the most bedazzling ghost ever! actually, i'm too lazy to make a real costume, i'll just take off everything except my socks and i'll just go as charlie sheen. thats what i'll do! i'll run around in my socks and say 'boo!' i'm honestly looking forward to sunday night, you know, hearing all the screaming and seeing the monsters and nightmarish imagery, then i'll turn off the campaign adds and wait for the trick-or-treaters! everyone likes halloween here, in west hollywood its a big deal. there is a huge parade in west hollywood this weekend, the come from all over the world to see it. 'hey you guys really know how to celebrate, this is the best halloween ever!' and people are like 'its halloween? we do this everyday. is this a parade? i thought i was in line for starbucks'. i love the west hollywood halloween parade, you know, the dressing up and wearing leather and assless chaps and stuff. it doesnt celebrate the grizzly part of halloween, i hate that. you know, people make their front lawn into a graveyard with zombies writhing on the ground. ugh. if i wanted to see a scary creature writhing on the ground, i'd throw david haselhoff a hamberger.'

- jason segel he even helps out with the tweets

- alison brie

> adam hills

craig's monster mash

in celebration of halloween, craig ferguson organized and performed another one of his hilarious sing-alongs to open up the show! this time the song they performed was 'monster mash'. craig was dressed as an evil scientist ans the dancers and puppets played along. they even got geoff peterson in on the action- fitting considering he's a skeleton! it was very funny, as always.

10-28-10

+ 'with all the bruhaha about charlie sheen its almost possible to forget that halloween weekend is upon us', craig ferguson reminds, 'it starts at midnight thursday night because thats when the movie saw 3D opened. i've never seen any of these saw movies, or i should say i never saw saw. you know when the first one came out there were a bunch of those abbott and costello type things: 'i just saw saw' 'saw what?' 'saw saw' 'what'd you see?' 'i saw saw' 'shut up you fat drunk!' anyway, there have been seven of those movies. i remember when the first one came out back in 2004. oh, time flies when you are cutting your own foot off. i wont be seeing saw 3D, slasher movies are not my cup of tea, not in 3D anyway. if i wanted to see body parts come flying toward me, i'd rent a hotel room with charlie sheen. i want to talk about these saw movies though, horrible things happen to people in these movies, their limbs get twisted, their bodies get cut up, they get blasted in the face with toxic gasses. actually, thats the jackass movies. saw 3D is coming out just after jackass 3D. i'm sick of the 3D, those glasses are disgusting. you never know how many people have had them on their faces before you. they're just like the kardashians.'

- michael caine sporting a great looking beard!

secretariat

ever since the disney movie came out, secretariat has become a running gag on 'the late late show with craig ferguson'. often times on the show there will be a doorbell that rings during the email and twitter segment, and recently that doorbell has meant the arrival of secretariat! not the horse itself, mind you, but two guys dressed up as a horse! when he comes in craig jumps out of his seat and dances along with the special secretariat music! some episodes we wont see the horse at all, but other times he comes out 3 or 4 times! i'm sure craig's enjoyment of it will wane, but for now- enjoy the dance!

10-27-10

+ 'everyone is still talking about america's sweetheart charlie sheen', craig ferguson states, 'there's new details surfaced. charlie was found naked in a trashed hotel room. according to authorities it was a party that got out of control. his feet were all cut up and there was a hooker locked in the closet. now, i dont know what happened, but one thing is clear: that was an awesome party! my hats off to you, mr. sheen! my clients dont usually have a closet for me to hide in. how does that actually work? like how do you go to sleep that night 'ah, ive got to get some sleep, what a wild party that was! now, did i cut my feet? did i put the hooker in the closet? i better double check...'.'

- marg helgenberger

- donald glover

10-26-10

+ in the opening bit danny devito tries to convince craig ferguson to help him sell horse meat from the trunk of his car...

+ 'theres a new book in stores today', craig shares, 'if you are too young to know what a book is, its like a long papery blog. the book is called 'life', its the autobiography of keith richards. now, if you are too young to know keith richerds, think of a jonas brother with more life experience, heroin, and talent. now, i downloaded it to my kindle, and now my kindle needs to go to rehab, where it awaits the arrival of charlie sheen. i havent read keiths book, but i'm very curious about it. aparently he says he has a secret longing to be a librarian. i think he just got confused and misspelled lesbian. people think that keith is drugged out, but he's not. keith quit cocaine in 2006 after he fell out of a tree. i can sympathize, i quit acid in the 11980's after being attacked by an imaginary duck. now, i cant condone cocaine, unless you are using it to stay up late to watch this show. actually, that would be a depressing waiste of cocaine. cbs cares. the book was culled from keith richards private letters and diaries. its hard to imagine keith richards keeping a diary: 'dear diary, does mick jagger like me? or like me like me?'.'

- danny devito

- brie larson

> henry cho

10-25-10

+ 'it was a very big weekend at the box office', craig ferguson shares, 'paranormal activity 2 comes out and critics say its the scariest thing you will see all year, unless you get a text from brett favre... paranormal activity in your pants! there is more bad news for brett favre, he's got a swollen ankle from the game last night and it turns out that its broken. the doctors wanted to take x-rays, but bretts wife wont allow any pictures below the waist, so... i will warn you though, if you want to know more about this story, be careful if you google the words 'brett favre' and 'swollen'.

* condoleezza rice

# joe theismann

10-15-10

+ 'a couple of very big movies opening today', craig ferguson informs, 'the action movie 'red' with bruce willis, morgan freeman, and helen mirren. and 'jackass 3D' with johnny knoxville and that midget thats always running around in his underpants. whats the name of that midget in the underpants again? thats right, tom cruise. hey craig, knock it off! now tom cruise will never be on this show! anyway, jackass 3D and red are very different movies, of course. one has a bunch of dangerous stunts done by people who aught to know better, and the other one is jackass 3D. you know what i'd like to see? helen mirren in a jackass movie! that would be awesome! 'this one is called 'shopping cart down a hill'! please affix an alligator to my nipple'. apparently in jackass 3D the guys play tether ball with a beehive, which is awesome, unless you are the bee. then thats not a hilarious stunt, thats like a home invasion. that would be like turning my ferret hut into a whack-a-mole!'

- julie chen

- ty burrell

= billy currington

10-14-10

+ craig ferguson does a great monologue tonight, but the highlight was the conversation he had with geoff peterson, his robot skeleton sidekick, at the end: 'its kind of ending up on commercial break time' craig says.

'breaky poo?' geoff asks.

craig asks 'breaky poo?'

'in your pants!' geoff retorts.

'hey! hey!' an exasperated craig exclaims, 'see, when i first got the skeleton out to be my sidekick i thought it would be awesome. but now he's better than me. now i'm like, thats not so great. then i think, yeah, it is kind of good, cause soon i'll be replaced by a robot and i can do what i really want to do: bedazzle!'

+ geoff peterson covers the red carpet for the movie 'red'. he gets to talk to morgan freeman, richard dreyfus, 'weird al' yankovic, bruce willis, sylvester stallone, and even gets slapped on the face from john malkovich (as per craig's request)!

- drew carrey he even somehow cons craig into donating $10,000!

- jenny wade

craig's band

well, what do you know? looks like craig ferguson and the late late show finally got a band! now they will be just like the rest of the late night shows! well, not exactly... craig's band is a bit different, its just two guys standing over by geoff peterson, the robot skeleton sidekick. one of the guys plays the accordian and the other plays the harmonica. strange, huh? as i watched i wondered if this was just a one time only deal, or if this was going to last. craig addressed that question during his 'what have we learned on the show tonight, craig?' segment when he said: 'you know folks, things on the show tonight, some things went good, and other things we all know didnt go so good. but i, i think back to the first night a young skeleton took the reigns of the podium there, and his first night was pretty awkward too. now look at him- still shit. but we are committed, and remember that if something doesnt really work on the show, that means its going to be around for quite a while...'

10-13-10

+ 'its a great day for our friends down in chile', craig ferguson shares, 'the 33 miners from chile are back with their families. well done, chile! if you are wondering were chile is, its the long thin country in south america, its the supermodel of south american countries. the chilean miners were trapped in a gold and copper mine for two months and one of them brought up souvenir rocks as presents for the rescuers, and the rescuers were like 'thats great thanks, but wasnt there any gold ones?' the miners were 2000 feet below the earth, thats pretty far down. how far down was it, craig? they were so far down the saw the devil preparing for justin bieber! anyway, it took a few weeks to establish communication with the miners. when the miners were first contacted they asked for just one thing, the first thing they asked for was toothbrushes. thats true! but unfortunately the first team on the scene was british. they were like 'toothbrushes? oh no! they've gone insane!' the mine though, must have been pretty crowded with 33 guys down there. basically it was one big room with a few tunnels running off of it, so the guys would use the tunnels to go to exercise or use the bathroom or to practice being interviewed by oprah. you know its coming! 'youre getting a free trip to australia!' 'thanks oprah, but we've already been down under'.'

- minnie driver

- diedrich bader

10-12-10

+ 'its a bit of a nervous day for me today actually', craig ferguson admits, 'as soon as the show is over i'm getting on a plane and going to san francisco. i'm hosting an award show. now, i've hosted award shows before, but this, this is the big one. this is the granddaddy of them all, this is the direct marketing association awards! yes, i have no idea what is, but it proves one thing: i will do anything for a dollar! i am a whore! anyway, so i did some research to understand the nature of direct marketing but after reading two sentences on wikipedia i got bored. i'll just show up and look pretty. i know a little about direct marketing, i know without it i would have no idea that there were 137 chinese restaurants in my neighborhood. the direct marketing award show will probably take forever because before you open an envelope with the winners name you have to open eight other envelopes with advertising on them. direct marketings do a lot more than mailing, of course, now a days they use text messages to excite people with their wares, kind of like brett favre...'

= trace adkins

# derrick pitts

10-11-10

+ 'it is columbus day! happy columbus day, everybody!' craig ferguson exclaims, 'it is the day of the year we pay tribute to central ohio's most exciting city. i'm sorry akron, another day for you, but today: columbus day! now, school children know about christopher columbus from the rhyme: 'in fourteen hundred ninety two columbus sailed the ocean blue'. the rest goes 'he proved the earth was not flat, he wore puffy trousers that made his ass look fat'! that is true! anyway, in columbus' time a lot of people thought the earth was flat. these people were called idiots. see, most people already knew then. columbus is credited though with discovering america, but there were many people already here before him, native americans, vikings, kardashians, balwins, andy rooney was here too. i understand the temptation to say i discovered something when there were others there before you, cause i say i 'discovered' drugs and alcohol at a young age. i didnt really 'discover' them, there were others before me there, brave men and women who vomited in the alley ways and passed out in the dumpsters before i was born. all i'm saying is that its a little odd to claim you discovered an entire country if theres already people living there. its like breaking into someones house and saying 'hey, look what i discovered! i claim this big screen tv for the queen of spain!'.'

- john malkovich

ferguson's ferrets

recently craig ferguson has shared one of his secret passions: ferrets! which i'm sure is completely true, it even says so on wikipedia, and you know you can trust anything thats on wikipedia... and to prove that love he shows off this amazing picture of his family of ferrets. also, love the peace sign earring...
be sure to check out the rest of 'the scottish king' website! we've got over 500 episode summaries, email and twitter jingles, segments, and other fun stuff!

10-08-10

+ 'the waldorf historia, the big fancy hotel in new york is the latest place to be infested by bed bugs', craig ferguson shares, 'they've got the bed bugs there. and when the waldorf historia gets bed bugs they are fancy. they drink your blood, but they lift up all their pinkies. also bed bugs found this week in several government buildings in washington dc. i'm like, i cant believe they have to deal with those dirty blood sucking pests, those poor bed bugs! see what i did there? i turned it around! you were like 'craig, what are you... oh, you!'.'

+ dear aquaman

- mary lynn rajskub

# carl edwards

10-07-10

+ 'the big news everyone is talking about, it is the forth day of nobel prize week', craig ferguson shares, 'today they gave out the nobel prize for literature, which is very exciting. it guarentees monster sales. sorry, i'm thinking about oprah, the nobel doesnt mean a thing. i was hoping to get a nobel to go to me for my book of limerics this year: 'nantucket and other places you can suck it'. but instead the nobel went to the author mario vargas llosa. congratulations mario, thats super. thats super mario... anyway, mario is from peru where he is a beloved national figure, so in peru they celebrated with a big parade around lake titicaca, you can get there by motorboat, if you fall out you can just do the breast stroke... where is the nobel prize for innuendo? how about that? anyway, i'm not sure how you can judge literature, its very subjective. for every person who likes earnest hemmingway, there is someone who thinks that hes just a boring old drunk. i look forward to your letters, your well written drunken letters that contain no adjectives. hemmingway won the nobel prize for literature in 1954, and in 1953 winston churchill won it, so after those two collected their prize, sweden was completely out of booze! 'we vill have to import more booze- call mel gibson!' 'what are you talking about? its 1954, mel gibson is just a baby in australia!' 'yes, he's just a baby, but he's a drunken antisemitic baby!'. like many people, i thought cormac macarthy was going to win, anyway he didnt win. he's a american author who writes gritty american novels, but he didnt win. as a matter of fact, in the past 20 years only one american has won the nobel prize for literature, tony morrisson. who i think was in 'the doors'... there is definately an anti american bias, but it will change next year because snookie's book is coming out.'

= toby keith

> louis anderson this guy is surprisingly funny!

10-06-10

+ 'its nobel prize week', craig ferguson shares, 'we are very excited. weve been celebrating all week with... um... and in stokholm they are giving out the nobel prizes all week, and today is the hump day of nobel prize week. friday they are going to give out the nobel peace prize, but today they are going to give out the prize for chemistry. the nobel prize is named after a chemist, of course, its named after alfred prize. no, its alfred nobel. he was a chemist, he was a swedish chemist who invented dynamite. it seems strange to give a peace prize named after a guy who invented dynamite. its like giving the masturbation award to that woman who is running for the senate in delaware... i know what you are thinking, 'craig, there is no award for masturbation'. you are right, masturbation is its own reward. every year after the peace prize is awarded there is a special concert held in norway. usually its hosted by a dignitary or diplomat, but in 2008 it was hosted by scarlett johannson and michael caine. i know! and they both gave speeches about world peace, scarlett johannson said 'i pray for peace between nations', and michael caine said 'i wouldnt mind a piece of scarlet johannson, ding dong oh la la!'.'

- debra winger

- adhir kalyan

= julie gribble

melt with craig

craig ferguson is back at it again! the return of the singing intro finds craig singing the modern english song 'ill stop the world and met with you'. in it craig is sporting a navy captain's jacket and a crazy blonde 'flock of seagulls' wig! wavey the crocadillio and cyd the rabbit help out, along with guntar on the guitar and random black guy on the tambourine. and just to keep things strange, adam (dressed as an astronaut) and jamie from mythbusters are there to help out as well! what chaotic, silly fun!