+ 'its a bit of a nervous day for me today actually', craig ferguson admits, 'as soon as the show is over i'm getting on a plane and going to san francisco. i'm hosting an award show. now, i've hosted award shows before, but this, this is the big one. this is the granddaddy of them all, this is the direct marketing association awards! yes, i have no idea what is, but it proves one thing: i will do anything for a dollar! i am a whore! anyway, so i did some research to understand the nature of direct marketing but after reading two sentences on wikipedia i got bored. i'll just show up and look pretty. i know a little about direct marketing, i know without it i would have no idea that there were 137 chinese restaurants in my neighborhood. the direct marketing award show will probably take forever because before you open an envelope with the winners name you have to open eight other envelopes with advertising on them. direct marketings do a lot more than mailing, of course, now a days they use text messages to excite people with their wares, kind of like brett favre...'

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