+ 'its a terrible day if you are in south korea', craig ferguson admits, 'did you hear about this? they were attacked by north korea, now the two nations are on the brink of a war. sounds like that pint sized madman, kim jung ill, is up to his old tricks! actually experts are saying that the person behind the attacks is not him, but his son. aw, kids grow up so fast! 'dad, i just want to borrow the army for a few hours!' anyways, never mind south korea and war, its a big night if you like dancing, or stars of course. the finalle was on tonight. congratulations, winner. now he or she goes off and... does whatever you do when you win. well, tomorrow they are on the view, thats what you do if you win dancing with the stars. you go on the view and barbara walters will go all old school and teach them the lindy hop or something. anyway, the three dancing with the stars finalists are bristol palin, jennifer grey, and a guy named kyle massey. no, i have no idea who he is either. they all defeated david hassellhoff and the mom from the brady bunch. beating hassellhoff isnt that difficult, you just distract him by throwing a burger on the floor. 'hey dave, whats that?' i dont want to get all preachy, but its a harsh indictment of our news media as we lurch towards possible nuclear war on the korean peninsula, that all anyone can talk about is dancing with the stars. me included! isnt it time journalists started asking the hard hitting questions like what does kim jung ill think about dancing with the stars?'
- mark ruffalo he played the mouth organ with craig, and was actually really good!

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