+ 'starting today there is a huge rock festival in england', craig ferguson informs us, 'its called glastenbury, its the biggest outdoor music festival in the world. its five days of peace and love and ten dollar beers. they do it every year, its like woodstock with less nudity. its like woodstock with out wood is what it is. its huge, and every country has them now, england has glastenbury, here in america we have lolapalooza and coachella, in north korea they have the kim jung il-ith fair, in afganistan they have al quida- palooza. 'ladies and gentlemen, give it up for kenny g.haad!' you know theres some great bands at glastenbury this year, the gorillas are playing the main stage, the pet shop boys are in the smaller stage, and george michael will be hanging out by the restrooms. he's playing duets, though he might be playing solo. you know who was supposed to play glastenbury this year was u2 but they had to cancel because bono hurt his back. i think its because he carries the weight of the world on his tiny little leprechan sholders. its true, bono is in fact part leprichan! yes, 'hi didly hoe, i still havent found what i'm looking for, i still havent found my magic pot o' gold!'
+he got spaghetti in his eyes!

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