+ 'listen, i'm sorry the show is on later than usual tonight', craig apologizes, 'we were delayed by the president's speech about the golf oil spill. obama has been criticized for not doing enough, but to be fair, he has been using every strategy on the book. unfortunately, its the same book that president bush used for katrina. chapter 1: sit on your ass for a couple weeks. chapter 2: go on vacation. i have refrained from discussing the oil spill, cause honestly i couldnt think of anything funny to say about it. then i realized, that doesnt stop me from anything else. the spill is awful though, its nearly impossible to be contained. this makes the exxon valdez look like a leaky juice box, this thing. theres almost two million barrels already steeped into the gulf of mexico. i'll give you an idea of how much oil that is: its enough oil to drive charlie sheen's mercedes off a cliff for three months! you know its a real catastrophe when the biggest hope of getting something done is kevin costner. i'm not kidding, kevin costner has spent millions of his own money to develop a water cleaning system. what this system does is takes the oil tainted water and then it spins in around and pops it out clean water out the other end. now, to be fair, i have made jokes about kevin costner. well, i didnt, geoff did... anyway, no more jokes about kevin costner on this show, if he cleans out the gulf of mexico, then he can dance with my wolf, he can water my world, he can tin my cup, he can bull my durham...'

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