6-17-10

+ 'if you are like me and you enjoy the harry potter', craig ferguson tells us, 'and who doesnt? just a few hours from now, in orlando florida, the wizarding world of harry potter opens. its a theme park devoted to my favorite gay wizard. i shouldnt actually say he's gay, hes not gay, but some people say he is because he always has a wand in in hand. hey, if that makes you gay, then sign me up for the parade, mister! actually, i think you better... you know who doesnt like harry potter? al quida! thats right, they prefer twilight probably. 'i identify with bella, i am torn between edward and jacob!'. there is a rivalry between the harry potter fans and the twilight fans. the twilight fans think they are much cooler than the harry potter fans. i dont know why, they would all get their ass kicked by the dr. who fans! thats right, i win! i am a who-zer! now that we have the harry potter theme park, maybe we will get a twilight theme park! there will be some great rides in that: vampires of the caribbean, mr. wolf's wild abs, suck mountain...'

- virginia madsen

* chris hardwick

= justin currie