+ ooh! craig ferguson is wearing sneakers! 'all my important communications these days are done electronically. i do everything, you know, contracts, meetings, penis enlargement opportunities... everything in paper is dying out, including newspapers. this is great for the environment, but alarming for some people, and by some people, i mean hobos. what will they use for blankets if there are no newspapers? anyway, ive got an ipad. its like an iphone, but its like the large print version of an iphone. it is! its like an iphone for old people. i've got it, its got
a bigger screen, and bigger buttons, theres an app to help you find the closes early bird special. you can download something called iprunes. you know what the ipad is perfect for? navigation, cause you can use it in cars. cause watching the road is boring. it is! road, road, road, turn, more road, more turning, pedestrians, other cars. boring! i was in vegas this weekend and on the ride back i read an entire book on my ipad. it was a very short book, it was by mel gibson. it was called 'my jewish friends'. no no, it was another short book: the amish tv guide. it was 'the art of british cooking', it was larry king's guide to a happy marriage.'