+ 'we had a great weekend, me and geoff', craig ferguson confesses, 'we went to vegas. we had a great weekend we were traveling. while we were gone there was a huge art theft in paris. coincidence? yes, because we actually were in vegas. but somebody broke into the paris museum of modern art. they stole more than 100 million bucks worth of art. anyway, the crooks got away with three certified masterpieces. pastorale, which is matisse's famous nude, they also took matisse's other masterpiece 'dogs playing poker', and the other 'nude's playing poker'. apparently in france what happened is the security guard discovered the theft when he saw a whole cut in the window pane. museum officials are now saying there was a malfunction in the security system. i'm thinking 'yes...' the real problem with the security system is that the guards are french- the can be distracted with unfiltered cigarettes and a trail of stinky cheese! after examining the evidence, the french police have asked interpol for help. i think they should bring in david coruso from csi: miami. 'looks like someone's trying to get monette for nothing'. wait wait wait, i've got another one: 'the theives were driving a van, where did the van gogh?' the french police say that the hiest was the work of sophisiticated thieves because they didnt take anything by rothko. ha ha ha! you are welcome the 10 people in america who got that joke!'