+ 'its a great day for me', shares craig ferguson, 'because it was my birthday yesterday!' the audience claps loudly, 'please, no loud noises, i'm getting on now, and loud noises scare me. i didnt talk about it yesterday, because i wasnt here because we showed a repeat so i could celebrate. and i celebrated the way i always do, i stayed home and called bob saget. well, cause bob saget and i share the same birthday. thats true! bob saget is my friend. i know you are thinking 'oh craig, you are making fun of bob saget!' well, i am, but he is my friend. and bob's older than me, he's 54. that means now the olson twins have to change his diapers. anyway, the best thing about getting older is nothing! no, its all right. you dont have to follow the fashion treads, now you can start wearing comfortable sneakers. then you ask yourself when you are wearing the sneakers 'why do my socks always have to be white?' then i found myself recently saying 'is there a way i can get sun glasses that dont let any light in on the side? maybe i can get a pair of those. its getting into the side and its annoying me, i want glasses that make me look like a robot. and then before you know it you are driving and using the speed limit as an eventual goal. and then when you are driving you turn on your blinker because, who knows, you might be turning at some point...'
- jon favreau
= jakob dylan