+ 'today, as i'm sure you are aware, everyone is very excited, its the first day of the cannes film festival', craig ferguson informs, 'i know. its the cannes film festival, everybody who matters in tv and in movies is in cannes right now. which explains why i am right here. this year at cannes they are playing some big hollywood movies, today they premiered the sequel to wall street called: wall street 2: the legend of curly's gold. no, wall street 2: money never sleeps is what its called. which is a stupid title. of course money never sleeps, thats like saying regis never pays- of course he never pays! (not a joke!). anyway, what i do love, though, i love how passionate the french are about cinema. at the cannes festival, if the french audience dont like the movie, they will boo it. 'le boo!' which is very unfrench to care about something enough to boo, i thought they would just say 'that was two hours of my life i will never get back. and yet, i do not care.' there are a bunch of judges at cannes film festival. and i'm thinking 'how do you judge movies?' its very subjective. how do you compare a movie like police academy to a real work of art like police academy 7. its just not the same! the big award given out at cannes is called the palm d'or. which sounds classy, but 'palm d'or translated to english means 'straight to dvd'. (not a joke)! the judges gave roman polanski the palm d'or in 2002. that was back in the day when he wanted to appear before judges, he's changed his mind now... in 2004 they gave the palm d'or to michael moore. he returned it when he found out it wasnt chocolate. this year woody allen is in cannes. partially to promote his new film, but i think mostly because roman polanski is in jail, so woody seizes the opportunity. a little too soon, maybe. a little soon ye... anyway, some directors are having a hard time getting to cannes this year because of that volcano in iceland. its that volcano, it refuses to quit no matter how many people it annoys. its like jay leno! what am i talking about? the cannes film festival. i'm bored talking about that shit, lets just go to a commercial. i said that out loud didnt i? inner dialog! inner dialog!'
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