+ 'it is a great day for us here in the city of los angeles', craig ferguson tells, 'the l.a. zoo has unveiled its new elephant habitat. i'm very excited about this, its been under construction for years and finally it opened today. there hasnt been this much excitement at l.a. zoo since the exhibit of the balwin brothers! it was lovely, they think they are people! standing up on their hind legs, wearing little clothes! anyway, the new elephant habitat is a very big deal for l.a. its got a waterfall and swimming pond, and one grinkly old grey male, two female companions... actually, thats the playboy mansion i've just described! anyway, this elephant habitat cost 42 million dollars- that will buy you a lot of peanuts! i think the zoo will make it back quickly though, cause the elephant habitat will be very popular, its the only place in l.a. that you can see wrinkly skin! elephants are a natural fit for l.a., they've got thick skin to survive all the criticism, they've got great memories to remember all the people who screwed them over, and they've got long trunks to reach across the room at parties and snort other people's cocaine.'
+ a sean connery holiday memory

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