+ 'its a great day today for the kids that love the healthy food', craig ferguson snickers, 'a new school nutrition bill was signed into law today- its the law! i dont know how you can enforce that, but its part of the government's war against donuts. and if we as a nation are not vigilant, the donuts have won. after the president signed the bill he said it proves our nation is serious about setting a good example of our children's health. then he went outside to sneak a cigarette and then came back in. anyway, from now on, school lunches are going to be healthier. goodbye, tater tots and hello, um... i dont know... tomato tots! i cant really think of any healthy foods except fruits and vegetables. they are delicious, especially if you dip them in batter, deep fry them, and slather them in a special sauce. i know the importance of a good diet, every day i try to eat from the four basic food groups: meat, beef, cake, and beefcake. what i'm saying is, schools will be healthier. some of the schools are getting rid of the soda from vending machines. i think thats a good idea, i drank a lot of soda in school, its a good mixer for wiskey. you know, i think if the schools really want to fight obesity, they should put the cafeteria about five miles from the classroom, then if the kids want to eat you go 'ok, youve got 20 minutes- move it move it!'.'
- alison becker plays her ukulele and sings 'the lion sleeps tonight' with craig!

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