+ 'i like almost all of God's creatures,' craig ferguson admits, 'but i do have to say, ostriches are bastards. no, they are! i've got nothing against any of them, but ostriches are bastards, they're big pecky, and stupid. they're like killer chickens. do you know that more people are killed by ostriches in the wild than by lions or tigers combined! now, thats is not true, but if it was true, you'd be like 'thats not true' and i'd be like 'well, yeah.' ostriches, skinny up top, with huge big round bottoms. its the animal world's kardashians!'+ elevator confessions
- eddie izzard
= chris botti
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