+ 'it's april fools day everybody! hurray!' craig ferguson cries, 'i'm kidding. i hate april fools. i hate it with all the stupid pranks, i hat it and i refuse to participate! i am the scrooge of april fools day. 'oh, tiny tim, we brought you a prosthetic leg- i'm kidding! go on, hobble off! ha ha ha!' i will say this: i think people who do play pranks do it to cover up the fact that they don't have a sense of humor. there. i said it. pranks are passive aggressive and vicious. unless they are done by me, in which case they are hilarious!'
+ fake craig interview bono, as played by the real craig.
- jennifer tilly
= heidi newfield

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