+ egypt is on craig ferguson's mind tonight, 'heres an interesting fact about egypt: they were stoned all the time! yes, thats true! cause their bread had sand in it, and after years of eating sandy bread they had tremendous dental pain. sandy bread, by the way, is the name i used to write romantic novels under... because they ate the sandy bread they looked like british people in drag! with eye makeup, it was like monty python! to ease the pain they drank a lot of beer and got stoned off the new wonder drug from the east: opium! is it any wonder im fascinated by these guys? they were stoned, drunk, working in construction, and were wearing eye makeup- it was my life in the 1980's!'
+ craig has a pretend meeting with CBS executive
- tim daly
- kara cooney, egyptologist

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