+ 'two big pieces of news from iran,' craig tells us, 'cause i always get the news from iran... ithe first is that the CIA believes they will turn on their secret nuclear reactor any day now, and the second is they are demanding an apology from hollywood. are these things related? i hope not, actually. yesterday the arts and cinema advisor to the iranian president, akmood ma-dinner-jacket, has demanded an apology. he pointed out the movies he didn't like: '300', and 'the wrestler'. he said they were offensive because they portrayed iranians in a negative light. what?!? i dont understand what's offensive about '300'. in that movie the persians (iranians), are sexually ambiguous oiled up party boys with abs of steel. i'd pay money to be portrayed like that! hollywood doesnt apologize for anything ever. like i've seen dozens of crap movies in my life, and no ones apologizing to me! but then again, i don't have nuclear weapons. oh, wait, neither does iran...'
+infomercial: brick johnson, greatest hits album 'hard times'
- paris hilton
* dee dee myers

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