+ 'a great day if you are any type of royal at all', craig ferguson states, 'prince was on the view this morning.  the musician prince, not the royal prince.  you can tell because he was fully clothed...  barbara walters had some hard hitting questions for prince, she was like 'pwince, do you still weow youw wasbewwy beway?'  anyway, not such a great day for prince william and his lovely bride kikki wigglesworth.  her proper name is, of course, kate middleton.  today an italian magazine published 26 pages of kate middleton naked.  today the door of buckingham palace no longer has the world's most famous royal knockers.  last week the french magazine published two pages of them.  now, i'm not must of a royalist, but i do feel sorry for william and kate.  they were on a private balcony doing what couples do, you know, rubbing oil on each other.  but they were doing it in a british way, you know, they were 'stirring each other's tea', they were 'buttering each other's crumpets', they were 'tasting each other's meat pie'.  insiders are saying that kate is so distracted that she cant focus on her job, which is...?  what a shame!  all i know is this: i am very concerned because usually when something very bad happens to the royal family, elton john writes a song about it.  thats what he does.'
+ a special announcement from former president bill clinton.
- julie chen
# warren sapp
= lianne la havas

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