+ 'its a great day if you are in texas', craig ferguson informs, 'all five living presidents are gathered for a ribbon cutting ceremony at george w bush's presidential library.  technically its known as 'the bush center'.  thats how they got president clinton to go!  lets see, other late night jokes... justin bieber!  the police in stockholm found drugs and a stun gun on his tour bus.  i'm like 'bieber, you naughty girl!'  the swedish police want to know three things: who bought the drugs?  where did you get the stun gun?  and why did you ditch your monkey?  he left his monkey in germany.  maybe monkey's like germany, maybe the monkey was like 'things arent working out, i'm out of here biebs!'.'
- zac efron
* anna quindlen

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