+ 'you know why i'm excited?' craig ferguson asks, 'its because its the first day of spring! the first day of spring is known as the vernal equinox, which means that the amount of day and night are equal, split right down the middle. or as fox news would call it 'solar communism!' equinox is something that only happens once a year, kind of like good ratings on nbc! vernal is, of course, the latin word for spring. spring sounds light and cheery, vernal sounds nasty, it sounds like a disease! the vernal equinox occurred this morning at 6:02 am. if you were awake for it and you're still awake for this show, then you are probably running a bit low on meth! a lot of myths about the equinox have been debunked, you cannot balance an egg on its side, water does not flow backwards, kim kardashian will not appear bigger than khloe.'
- aaron eckhart
= kellie pickler