4-18-13

+ 'i know what you are thinking', craig ferguson exclaims, 'you are thinking 'craig, whats the latest from hollywood?'  well, i'll tell you!  last night in hollywood jennifer aniston was seen at a movie premier and she had red cupping marks on her back!  it seems jennifer aniston is into the latest hollywood craze, which is cupping.  its an actual thing, cupping.  its an ancient form of medicine.  you put cups on your skin and you heat it up and it creates suction.  cupping therapy is supposed to be very healing, a lot of celebrities do it.  people love it because its from somewhere else and its been around for a long time.  'its been around for thousands of years so it must be very good'.  its practically illegal to get old here, so why in hollywood are old people shunned, but old ideas are embraced?  it is because we are shallow douche bags.  the cupping actually, they did in ancient egypt.  they did a lot of stuff that we do today in ancient egypt.  they used to wear eye make up and take drugs.  they did, you know in ancient egypt they would wear eye make up, thats for the sand.  they put the eye make up on to protect them from the wind blown sand, and they took opium because of pain.  they used to eat this bread and the sand from the desert went in it and it would wear their teeth down.  so they would take opium and they had bad teeth and make up on.  it was like me in the 80's!'
- ginnifer goodwin
* salman rushdie