+ 'its a fantastic day for college basketball', craig ferguson states, 'what a game that was... congratulations, winners.  we are live so of course i watched every...  you know, people say to me, they say 'craig, put some clothes on!' then they say to me 'craig, are you saying your show is not live?  because other late night shows are live!'  and i'm like, no they are not live.  'but...' no, they are not live. and even if they were, which they are not, we are not like other late night shows.  'why craig?  how can you say that? you are a guy, you walk out, you are wearing a suit, you are like other late night shows!'  no, number 1: i dont give a fuck.  wait wait, i know what you are thinking: 'craig, its just part of your shtick'.  no, its not part of a shtick  i really dont give  a fuck!  its not that i dont like everyone here, they are perfectly nice people, cbs are a lovely corporation in every way, but i dont give a fuck.  and thats important.  remember that kids, never give a fuck!  well, the buddists say that desire is suffering, thats the first truth of buddism, desire is suffering.  so if you dont give a fuck, you are in clover, right?'  {editors note: this sounds like craig is mad when written, but when he did his monologue it was all lighthearted and in jest, just so ya know!}
- max greenfield
- debbie reynolds

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