+ 'its a great day if you like barbara walters', craig ferguson shares, 'the most fascinating people special was on earlier tonight.  there is no surprise about one thing on this list: i'm not on it!  again!  not fascinating enough for you, barbara?  i've been a guest on the view and i thought you and i had something special.  something very very special... i let you see my sensitive side, barbara.  and by that i mean my penis.  she did have some great names, barbara, on this special though:  pippa middleton.  now there you are, who could be more fascinating than someone who is the sister of someone who has married someone who is famous just for being fucking born!  to be fair though, pippa is also famous for having an ass that looks good in a dress.  which is another reason i should be on that list!  other people on barbara's list include herman cain, the kardashians, simon cowell, and donald trump.  is this a list of the most hateful douche bags in america?  between them and pippa middleton, this really puts the 'ass' in fascinating!  katy pery is also on the list, i like her.  she's talented, she's pretty, and she's a great singer, but is it wise to put her in the same room as herman cain?'
- kenneth branagh
- patton oswalt

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