+ 'very crazy goings-on in egypt right now', craig ferguson informs, 'thousands of young people in the street protesting, they are very angry. i dont know what its about, but it might have something to do with that there has never been a free election in the six thousand year history of egypt. you know, if you dont have a free election, sooner or later the kids are going to get mad at you! it could be the fact that they are ruled by a regime that everyone agrees is a bit torturey. or it could be that the streets of chiro are so crowded that you cant walk like an egyptian. you cant walk like an egyptian, you have to walk like a canadian. 'sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry'. 'craig', i hear you say, 'craig, these protests in egypt, are they related to what happened in tunisia?' i dont know. i dont know if they are. i dont have time to keep up on current events, not when i've got a tivo full of 'the real housewives of beverly hills'! those are some crazy bitches right there. i do know one thing though, two weeks ago thousands of tunisians poored onto the streets to demand that the dictator to get his ass out. and then to everyone's surprise, he did! no one has seen such a hated figure leave his homeland peacefully since i left scotland all those years ago. anyway, the egyptian protests are huge, its a big chance for the middle east. for once the people in the streets are not beardy old fundamentalists hell bent of overthrowing america's only alli in the region, they are pro western pro ipod, they are cool young people hell bent on overthrowing america's only ally in the region. now, ive never been to egypt. the closest ive ever gotten is the luxor hotel and casino in las vegas. which in many ways, lets be honest, is better than the real egypt. come on, its got carrot top six nights a week! six thousand years of civilization bested by a man with a trunk full of prop gags and a dream.'

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