+ 'today is a good day to be rich, and when isnt it?' craig ferguson asks, 'today is the first day of the world economic forum in switzerland. its where the worlds richest people get together and, i dont know, rub dollars on their nipples or something. they called it the world economic forum because they all agreed that calling 'cha ching, bitches!' was too on the nose. the forum is in a place called davos in switzerland. aw the swiss. i think the swiss use their neutrality to lull us into not being afraid of them, but behind our backs the swiss army are preparing their knives, they are going to poke us with their corkscrews, burn us like ants with their tiny maginfying glasses. you know, to be a member of this world economic forum club there is a forty five thousand dollar annual membership fee. i cant afford that. the most expensive club i belong to is the hair club for men. thats right, im bald. downstairs. well, i used to be, now i love the way i look! wait, thats not the hair club, that slogan is for mens wearhouse... thats right, my penis wears a suit! he's a fine upstanding citizen. its not just the president, its also a client! wait, what was i talking about? i got distracted by my penis again... the world economic forum. the people who go to this thing are zillionaires, they make donald trump look like a pauper. in fact, if trump showed up, they would make the thing on his head dance for change! 'dance monkey, dance! you too think on the monkey's head!'.'

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