+ 'today, of course, is marti gras', criag ferguson exclaims, 'now, for me, marti gras is when i lose control, do things ill regret tomorrow, and trade my dignity for a few small trinkets. then, when i'm done doing this show, i celebrate marti gras! the most common way that people go nuts during marti gras is to expose their breasts in exchange for beads. i've never understood that. what is it about marti gras that makes otherwise modest normal ladies expose themselves for shiny plastic bobbles. then i remembered what it is: binge drinking! marti gras is only the fourth biggest drinking holiday of the year. the top three are st. patricks day, new years, and tuesdays at mel gibson's house! years ago marti gras started as a catholic celebration before lent. so now we know why pope benedict quit- he wanted one last party!'
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ted danson
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teresa palmer
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