+ 'tonight was the premier of the new version of the tv show dallas', craig ferguson informs, 'and it has larry hagman in it!  he was the original j.r.  dallas was the original prime time soap, it was great.  it had the cool plot twists and the evil twins, the amnisiacs.  it had an entire season that turned out to be a dream!  thats true, they actually did that on dallas.  a character's husband died and a year later she wakes up and realizes its all a dream and her husband was standing there waiting for her in the shower!  which is weird, because waking up with some guy in the shower is how my dreams start!  the producers of the new dallas are hoping people remember the shower scene thing because they are using that image in the advertisements.  j.r. is even wearing a cowboy hat in the shower!  the original dallas started back in 1978.  back then america was very different:  we had an ineffective one term president, gas prices were through the roof, we were in a stand off with iran...  i'm glad those dark days are over!'
- ellen page
= lee brice

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