+ 'you know, its memorial day', craig ferguson states, 'and that means summer is here. a lot of americans had today off, not me of course. how long do i have to be a citizen before i get the day off? anyone who is important in this town had plans today, going to pool parties and barbeques except me and the audience. all the other late night talk shows are in repeats, but not us! because this show cares and imigrant labor is cheap. also, we are taking next week off. oops, i'm not supposed to say that! all right, we will be here next week and i've decided the theme for next week will be 'stuff i've talked about before'! i dont do well at barbeques anyway, that type of thing. i'm afraid of the sun. i wear shorts hiked up to my nipples, socks pulled up to my thighs, i wear the giant old people robot sunglasses- i actually cant wait to move to florida. 'welcome to the late late show, now at 3:00 pm! so you can get to bed!'.'
- benjamin mckensie
- shohreh aghdashloo