+ 'a new survey came out today that lists the american cities with the worst traffic', criag ferguson informs, 'i figured its got to be new york or l.a., right? wrong! its honolulu hawaii! i know! now, there is a silver lining for the people who live in hawaii and deal with this traffic. on the one hand they have the worst traffic in the country, but on the other hand, you live in hawaii! its beautiful! its not like you live in craptown, or doucheburg, or reno. no disrespect to the people of reno, but your town really is a dump. the people are really nice, they must be to put up with the people of that town! i've said too much... i think the traffic is bad in hawaii because everyone is driving slowly to see the scenery. i've been there, in the same afternoon i saw a volcanic eruption, a couple dudes in grass skirts, and a big flowery lay. then i left my hotel room and drove around hawaii... anyway, according to the survey, the second worst traffic is los angeles. i've always thought the traffic here moves pretty well, it only gets jammed up if something terrible happens like a light drizzle.'
- billy bob thornton