liam james ferguson
'do i look tired to you?' craig ferguson asks, 'this is the most i've slept in the past week. i'm sleeping right now. i'm very happy though, on january 31st, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby boy: liam james ferguson. thank you very much'. the crowd applauds. 'and i was there. i was right there, like the whole thing. i saw the whole thing, i was at the pointy end. right there. i was right there for the very absolute... oh. anyway, the good news is liam was 8 pounds, and 21 inches long. and that apparently, makes him a genius, which he is of course. now i've got two sons. now i just need a couple hundred more, and we will take over the world! look, i know this show can be a little dodgy sometimes, but tonight, i think it could be really bad. now, the good news is, i couldnt give a rats ass. i'm just trying to be purposefully worse than usual so the audience will be quite and i can get some rest. he's a very good baby, but he is a baby and he follows baby rules: aghh! and he does not respond to debate!'