+ 'it is of course, valentines day!', craig ferguson reminds us, 'happy valentines day, everybody. now valentines day is a big deal, i dont know much about the actual saint valentine, and it turns out, nobody else does either. i'm looking it up today and theres a lot of different saint valentines. apparently saint valentine was either a spanish hermit, an italian bishop who was martyred, or a roman preist who was beheaded. because nothing says romantic love like hobos, martyrs, and beheadings! anyway, the first official valentines day was declared by king henry the 8th. oh! he was a very lovely romantic man, married six times, he was. he was the larry king of his day! actually, thats not fair, thats not true. it was the 16th centrury, so larry king was actually there... the first valentines card was sent int he 16th century from larry king to his first wife. 'you are beautiful, sexy, and classy, now kiss me before i get gassy'. anyway, king henry the 8th though, made st. valentines day a holiday. people say this is awful because he killed most of his wives. not true! he only killed 30% of them! king henry the 8th starting valentines day is like michael vick starting PETA, or like woody allen starting 'take your daughter to work day', or like mel gibson starting hanukkah- it just doesnt make sense!'

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