+ 'its a great day for america, everybody!' craig ferguson states, 'you may say 'craig, can you back that up with any kind of evidence?' yes i can, for one thing we are not in the middle east. its another very chaotic day there. the fighting continues in libya, the low budget bond villian moumana-minana-margarie kadafi has promised to die protecting his brutal regime. just looking at him you can tell hes a guy who has a bad idea but sticks with it. anyway, last night kadafi went on the libyan tv and he talked for over an hour, we was rambling, he was incoherent, nobody was paying any attention. now he has crossed the line! that is my thing, buddy! mine! here's how bad it is, the president of iran, machmoodimadinnerjacket, has said that kadafi has violated universal human rights and must step down. let me repeat: the guy in charge of iran has said kadafi has gone too far! thats like an austrailan bartender saying you've had too much to drink. that actually happened to me! this bar maid said to me 'youve had a bit too much to drink' and i said 'how dare you!' then i stopped drinking shortly after that. well, a couple years later... anyway, in the last month the protest have toppled the regimes all over, in egypt and tunisia, and bahrain is collapsing. yeman is in chaos as well, cyria is strambling to get out of the way. today, in saudi arabia, the king announced a 37 billion dollar handout to his people and i'm thinking 'well, theres a coincidence'. the king is thinking 'maybe its time i gave out a lot of money'. 'why?' 'oh, i dont know why...' theres only one reason you hand over that much money, youve had the crap scared out of you, thats why! its a kind of 'please dont have a revolution' check. the saudi king says the 37 billion dollars are to help out the poor people of saudi arabia. i'm like 'really? saudi arabia has poor people?' yes, it does have poor people. saudi arabia takes in half a trillion dollars a year in oil revenue and the country has a population smaller than new york state. but when your system of government is 11th century monarchy, somebody is going to end up poor, and its not going to be the guy named 'king'. thats how its gonna work, i understand these things.'

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