+ 'its friday and i'm very relieved', craig ferguson shares, 'i feel that my three week old son will probably take the weekend off from crying. they are so unreasonable at that age! i mean, i'm like 'i think we get the message, you are upset. we have done everything we can'. anyway, i'm pretty tired, so if the show sucks tonight, well, it will be because its this show, thats why it will suck. and contrary to what the warm up man may have told you, you have not won anything. there is no chocolate, no free chicken, no t shirt, no hat, no refrigerator, no beautiful model, no band, no talent- nothing! however, if you do hang around you will see effort, effort from a desperate sweaty man who just wants to make it through just like you do! i know i'm not good, but gosh darn it, i'm relateable! i know what you are thinking as well, 'craig did you just say 'gosh darn it'?' yes i did. why? because i've given up cussing. well, lets see if i make it through an entire show without cussing, for truly that would be a great day for america!'
+ dj qualls stops by to help out with emails and tweets

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