+ 'its a sad day for humans', craig ferguson states, 'last night on the jeopardy show a computer defeated two of their greatest champions. it was, you know, man versus machine and the machine won. experts say they havent seen two humans beat this badly since yesterday's jerry springer! this is a big deal! never before has man been defeated by technology on a game show. except that one time backstage on 'who wants to be a millionaire?' when regis got his hand caught in a soda machine. 'give me my fresca, dammit!' you have to be smart to win jeopardy, its not like 'wheel of fortune', their contestants could be beaten by an electric razor, on jeopardy you have to be smart! anyway, they gave the computer a million bucks last night for winning. the computer spent the money the only way it knows how: hookers, blow, and motor oil. soon it will be on 'two and a half men'. anyway, ibm gave the money to charity. i find this computer fascinating, cause aparently he was programmed with millions of pages of information including dictionaries, encyclopeidas, bibles, novels, and plays. i'm thinking its just a matter of time before the computer gets hungry for some crap! 'i'm sick of shakespeare, get me that book by snookie. ha ha, i'm just kidding, she didnt really write it! ha ha ha.' some machines are very smart, but will a machine ever be able to smell a flower or experience joy? and by joy i mean joy behar.'

No comments: