7-17-13

+ 'you know, over in britain they are very tense', craig ferguson admits, 'because still no royal baby!  i cant wait to see that little bundle of joy!  i'm talking about prince harry's genitals.  that's what he says when he poses for those naked pictures, 'do you want to see my royal bundle of joy?'  we are still in royal baby watch here at this show.  the royal family are keeping all the details secret because they don't want their plans spoiled by voldemort!  ha ha!  that's right, everyone in britain is in harry potter!  the maternity wards in britain are a little bit different, instead of surgical masks they wear those curly wigs!  kate middleton is now four days overdue, which means that in just a few more days the royal baby watch will surpass gweyneth paltrow as the most annoying thing in london...'
- anthony hopkins
- jes macallan

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