6-20-13

+ 'here's some news that's very frightening and scandalous news', craig ferguson warns, 'well, i guess not frightening, its not like 'boo!'  it is scandalous though, the fashion designers dolce and gabbana have been found guilty of tax evasion.  they probably wont do any jail time, which is a relief, because stripes are very out this year...  the judge ordered them to pay a huge fine, it could be as high as 13 million dollars.  of course, that's chump change for dolce and gabbana, these guys giving away 13 million dollars.  that would be like jay leno giving away one car, that would be like lance armstrong giving up one syringe, that would be like me giving up one testicle!  i've got dozens of them, i keep them backstage.  i don't know a lot about dolce and gabbana, they are just two dudes who formed a successful partnership like ben & jerry, like barnum & bailey, or khloe & lamar.  apparently dolce and gabbana were an 'item' for 23 years, the broke up in 2005 but they still work together.  that must be tough, working with an ex.  i do it every time drew carey is on this show.  he lost all that weight to make me jealous... it worked!  anyway, i'm glad dolce and gabbana aren't going to prison, if they did i wonder if they would be cell mates?  then they would have to fight over who would get the top bunk and who would get the bottom!  well, they probably figured that out long ago...'
> lewis black
> matt morales