brandenburg gate, the former site of the berlin wall. it was hot in berlin today, it was 98 degrees- that's hot enough to fry your schnitzel. it was very hot, i haven't seen obama sweat like that since... yesterday, and the day before that, all this week- its been a pretty rough month for him, huh? over the years, many u.s. presidents have given famous speeches at the brandenburg gate, in 1987 president reagan told gorbachev to 'tear down this wall'. in 1996, bill clinton tried the old j.f.k. trick of speaking german, he said 'hmmm...' which translates to 'where is the strip club?' the brandenburg gate separates east and west berlin, during the cold war west berlin was an exclave, it was a tiny outpost of liberalism surrounded by people who wanted to crush it. it was like austin, texas. anyway, president obama is trying to get vladimir putin to scale back russia's nuclear arsenal, but its not a good time. putin just got a divorce! he's not in the mood, he just lost half of his stuff! he's like 'vife gets to use kremlin on veekents'. besides, russia is not the most dangerous nuclear power anymore, its north korea. this year he has nuclear weapons, last year he was dancing to 'gangnam style'! i don't know which one is worse!'
- rosie perez
= the rubens