+ 'britain is in a heightened state of alert right now', craig ferguson shares, 'right now we are on royal baby watch.  yes, everyone over there is on the look out for the helpless little bald creature who will someday become the most powerful person in england.  but enough about prince charles...!  the child of prince william and kiki wigglesworth is due any time.  prince harry is said to be very excited because he will be an uncle for the first time and he will no longer be the only one running around the royal palace naked!  queen elisabeth is very excited, and who can blame here?  its been 120 years since a british monarch has been alive for the birth of a great grandchild.  a royal birth is a little different, but even in the delivery room formal protocol must be followed.  the doctors will have to refer to william as 'your highness', and kiki wigglesworth, her lady parts will be on view.  and you cant say 'the royal vagina', so you need another name for it.  perhaps 'the regal baby basket', maybe 'her majesty's beefeater', or 'her majesty's secret cervix'!  anyway, the doctors have warned the princess that the birth might be painful because there is a one in four shot that the baby will have prince charles' ears!'
- julie chen
> michael palascak

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