12-21-12

+ 'it is the 21st of december', craig ferguson states, 'it is the first official day of winter, its the winter solstis, it is also  my wedding anniversary!  yes!  thank you!  happy anniversary, darling!  it is also the birthday of joseph stalin.  my wedding and stalin's brithday are very different of course... you what, actually i'm going to stop there.  it is our last show before christmas, and maybe our last show ever.  tonights the night, according to the mayan prophecy it could already be the end of the world in you region!  as you know, the mayan calendar didnt go past the 21st of december 2012.  the mayans are known for making the most accurate calendars in the ancient world.  it predicted eclipses, full moons, and every month they had a picture of a sexy fireman.  you know, there's one problem with this mayan prophecy crap, every serious mayan scholar says that a close reading of the mayan text reveals that they believed the world would go on for thousands of years past the mayan calendar   but you know what?  fuck the scholars  lets listen to the wacko locked in the basement with five hundred pounds of spam because he knows what the fuck is going to happen!'
- jamie foxx
- bianca kajlich

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