12-13-12

+ 'its a great day if you like the awards', craig ferguson states, 'because the golden globes nominations were announced this morning.  usually i go in to a diatribe about the golden globes because the people there are a scandal ridden bunch of suck-ups who only know how to get joy in life by getting with in 10 feet of a movie star.  in other words: my people!  but the golden globes are given out by the hollywood foreign press association.  they are entertainment journalists for tiny foreign newspapers like the luxenburg penny saver, the oslow tattler, the roterdam bugler.  anyway, this year i wont be talking about how corrupt the golden globes are because ive realized my scorn for the golden globes is nothing but jealousy.   i've changed my mind.  because i got a nomination this morning!  not for this show, oh now, but for a little film called 'brave' just picked up a nomination for best animated feature.  i made that movie myself in my basement with nothing but my imagination and help from a little company called pixar.  ok, technically it wasnt me who got the nomination, some legal mumbo jumbo about doing three hours of voice over work while not wearing any pants...  but i am a team player, so this morning when i saw that 'brave' was nominated i called pixar and said 'what can i do to help brave win?'  they said 'dont tell anyone you are in it!'.'
+ an excerpt from arnold schwarzenegger's autobiography
- howie mandel
- olivia williams

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