+ 'one of the big christmas movies that opens tonight', craig ferguson shares, 'is jack reacher. tom cruise as jack reacher! the jack reacher movie is based on a very popular series of books, which i havent read. i only read books about sexy vampires or mischievousness boy wizards. i'm a griffindor and team edward! but, the character of jack reacher is supposed to be an intimidating six foot five, two hundred and fifty pound killing machine. i'm thinking 'hmm, tom cruise?' i mean, lets be honest, tom cruise is a great action movie star, he's a great actor, but he's... small. how does he kill people? does he punch them in the balls? by the way, thats my favorite christmas song- 'punch the balls with tiny anger- fa la la la la la la la la!' you know what i like about this, jack reacher is a fantastic name for an action hero, i cant think of a better one. well, lets try! names for an action hero: flip assbuckle, shep crossbow, what about rusty trombone? ass mcgrunt, hairy manjaw, flint wolfnip, stone gunpenis!'
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quentin tarantino
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