+ 'finally the residents of boulder and seattle can enjoy their first taste of marijuana ', craig ferguson states, 'the governor of colorado made a speech last night reminding citizens that smoking weed is still against federal law. i'm not making this up, and i quote, 'do not break out the cheetos and goldfish too quickly'. stoners are like 'dude, put them away, the governor can see us on tv!' here in l.a. we had some local things on the ballot. we had some strange measures. one of them was about whether to require condoms in pornography, and it passed pretty easily. voters realized that making porn stars use condoms doesnt just help the porn stars, but it helps charlie sheen! the porn stars are not happy about the ballot, they are not going to take this sitting down, maybe over the chair, but not sitting down...'
- matthew perry