+ 'there's a very big movie opening today that i'm very excited about', craig ferguson reminds us, 'its called salt. i was confused by its title at first, 'in a world where food needs more flavor, one seasoning makes you thirsty...'. it turns out that salt is an action hero played by angelina jolie. she describes herself as a female james bond. isnt that daniel craig? anyway, in the movie angelina jolie is accused of being a russian spy. she might be a spy, but she might not. she's spy curious. that was pretty bad, even for here, isnt it? anyway, i'm going to go see this movie because i like angelina jolie. she and i are a lot alike: she is in show business, i know some people in show business, she has tatoos, i have tatoos, she uses her money and time to help other people, i... like her. they had the big premier of salt a couple nights ago, the press went crazy. its the first time angelina and brad had been seen together in a while. some people are relieved because it looks like they are still very much in love, i was relieved cause brad shaved off his nasty beard! i like smooth brad. you know i hate that tabloids start causing trouble about that, they assume things are rocky because they are not photographed together for a while. they are two very busy people, they are raising six kids, they have better things to do than beg for publicity like that fat leathery hooker on jersey shore. and the women on jersey shore are bad too.'