+ 'its a great day for america, and a great day for the leader of the free world', craig ferguson announces, 'of course, i'm talking about oprah winfrey. she was named today the number one most powerful celebrity in the world by forbes magazine. now, a magazine is a kind of papery blog thing. its a kind of papery thing that people used to read. its like a very slow website. its a sort of kind of foldy aol. anyway, id like to thank forbes for coming up with a list like this, cause if it wasnt these lists id have to talk about my cleavage or something. id have to talk about real news issues, and i cant. im just too pritty for that. what i'm saying is that i dont give a rats ass about the most powerful celebrity in the world. oprah is number one. you know who is number four on the list? lady gaga. apparently lady gaga is the fourth most powerful celebrity in the world. how is that even possible? people say she's the new madonna. do we really need a new madonna, whats wrong with the old one? you know that tiger woods is number five on this list. he was between lady gaga and britney spears... he wasnt on the list, it was in a hotel room in new jersey. i'll be honest with you, i dont even understand forbes list. can these celebrities bend steel? can they melt things with their heat vision? cause that is my definition of power. a celebrity is only powerful if you allow them to be powerful. like if mick jager came in here right now, he's a powerful celebrity right? if he came in here right now and said 'craig, stand over there'. i'd be like 'no'. and he would be like 'um, my power is waining!' even if oprah, the most powerful celebrity in the world, if she said 'buy this book', and you buy it, she is powerful. if she says 'buy this book' and you said 'no' then shes powerless. dont tell her i said that... i dont understand this list in this magazine, forbes magazine is supposed to be about investing. their 'most powerful' list is a misuse of the word 'power'. and if they cant understand the word power, then possibly they dont understand the word 'honest', which makes them a perfect magazine for people who invest and work on wall street!'