+ 'its great to be back', craig ferguson shares, 'actually, it seems like the audience is a different class of hobos than what we usually get in here. anyway, its great to be back. i was on vacation last week. on the 4th of july i hosted a boston pops fireworks spectacular, and then i stayed in new england for vacation. it was hot! the whole of the east coast had record heat while i was there, and the west coast had record low temperatures. coincidence? yes. i got into a very bad accident when i was in vermont. i know what your thinking: 'craig, why did you risk your life on the mean streets of vermont? its crazy out there with... things'. anyway, what happened is that i hurt myself on a slide. on something called the bromley mountain alpine slide. i think its full name is the bromley mountain alpine slide of death! what they do in the ski resorts in the summer is there is no snow, so they put these big long fiberglass shoots on the side of the mountain so that in the summer it becomes a slide. its like they transform rockefeller plaza in new york city. in the winter its an ice skating rink, and in the summer its a holding area of jimmy fallon's prostitutes. what? thats right jimmy, the war is back on! no, i'm kidding, jimmy doesnt go with prostitutes. its just a stupid joke, i wish i had never made it, but its out now. its not even a joke, its a flat out lie. sorry. if you've never been on an alpine slide, its like a water slide without the water. well, until my accident, then it became a water slide, if you know what i mean. and if you dont know what i mean, i peed myself...'

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