+ 'do you know what i'm very excited about?' craig ferguson asks, 'the new movie thats opening today: captain america! when i heard they were making a movie about an american hero who looks great in red, white, and blue, i said 'about damn time- i love richard simmons!' anyway, its not richard simmons, its about captain america. he's a superhero, and i'm like 'finally! this summer a movie about superheroes!' no, i said a couple weeks ago that i was sick of superhero movies. i was at the time, but now i'm hungry for more. that happens sometimes, like last year i said i was sick of the platinum blonde look, and then the other day i figured what the hell and got it done again... down stairs i'm billy idol! too much? anyway, captain america is about a wimpy guy who gets transformed, he's injected by an experimental serum, and then enhanced by chemicals to become awesome! the moral of the story, kids, is that drugs work! my body was also transformed by chemical experimentation... this is how it worked out.'