+ 'oh i'm so glad you cant sleep again!' craig ferguson exclaims to his late night viewers, 'i'm so glad you are here because its a very special night tonight. we are very excited here because, as you know, i believe love all the people no matter their sexual preference or even if they come from austraila. we are very excited tonight because in lesbian row, which is a small area of the audience here where we keep specifically for, you know, lesbians, we have australian lesbians! arent they adorable? the thing is, people often say to me 'craig, whats the difference between an australian lesbian and your regular old lesbians?' its to do with the hemispheres and the way the earth is. because austrailan lesbians if you go down there and watch, they go around a different way! yes, in the northern hemisphere where north america is, gravity makes lesbians and many other people go around a certain way, and in the south they go around a different way. i made that up. there's absolutely no difference other than i have a noticeable lack of material and it was something to talk about.'

* neil gaiman the monologe was skipped tonight due to the really long chat with neil- and it was worth it!

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