5-24-11

+ 'tonight was the big 'dancing with the stars' season finale', craig ferguson states, 'i havent watched it yet because i've dvr'ed it, so no spoilers anyone! i love that show 'dancing with the stars', you know why? because i love what you love, america. i'm a whore, but a cheerful and enthusiastic whore! i've actually never seen dancing with the stars, not even for five minutes, and i'll tell you why: i'm afraid to watch. i happen to have an addictive personality. i see a booty shaking and i'm going to have to shake mine too, and once my booty starts shaking it aint stopping for anyone, bitch! once i start i dont stop until i'm done. or until you're done... nah, i dont care if you are done... the real reason dancing with the stars is such a hit is because your whole family can watch it together. of course, it helps if your whole family is old ladies and gay dudes... tonight wasnt just the season finale of dancing with the stars, it was also the season finale of 'glee'. tonight is the one night in a year you can get into any restaruant in west hollywood- you can walk right in to any of them, their empty! its like a ghost town. i cant imagine going on dancing with the stars. well, i can imagine it and its not pretty. it would be a lot of work and i hate to be critiqued about my dancing, i dont need judges. i can always figure out if ive danced well by counting the money i find in my thong. although, some of those coins are lumpy. then again, so am i!'

- courteney cox

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