+ 'we are almost done with may sweeps', craig ferguson states, 'sweeps, that's the time when networks pull out all the stops to get the ratings up. sweeps, if you don't know, is very important to the likes of us who work in television. its the time when you have to amp up your game, which i think is not right. you know, a lot of shows amp up their game and i think what about the people who watch every night? what, they don't matter the rest of the time? so tonight i have decided to provide the same level of crap that i always provide. it wont be any better, in fact as we continue with the show at this point it will probably be on the down side... this year a lot of shows are pulling some crazy stunts: on glee one of the actors is going to come out as straight, on the voice shakira's hips are going to lie, on keeping up with the kardashians they are going to circumcise khloe! they do this for the ratings, the ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that wont be answered until the next time the show is on. you know, like 'who shot j.r.?' i like to think that every night when people watch this show the question is 'is this still on? why is this still on?!?' i don't look at the nielsen ratings. i don't think you want to win the ratings in late night anyway. look at what happened at nbc. look what happened! who's been number one on nbc for 20 years? what happened? fired! fired! twice!'
- heather graham
* david benioff