+ 'good evening everyone', craig ferguson begins, 'i know what you are thinking, 'craig, why are you sitting there at your desk? don't you usually stand up at the start of your show so we can appreciate your long lovely legs?' here's the problem, if you cant tell already, the lighting is apparently out on half of the studio. there's a leak. i don't understand, there's been a drought in l.a. for the past two months! the leak is from the air conditioning unit that's leaking water, the lights are dangerous so no one can sit there. there's not enough light for me to stand there, there's barely enough light for me to be here. the horse is in twilight over there! and the robot, that runs on electricity, is over by where the leak is! what i'm saying is, this show is usually a mess, but tonight is going to be an unholy mess! its going to be bad, very very bad- worse than usual. and i, for one, am delighted! the audience though, does not think that so much... we don't have any room for the 25 people, there's no lesbian row- we are lesbian free! this is going to be a rough one...'
- larry the cable guy
- abigail spencer