3-12-12

+ 'its a great day if you like organic food', craig ferguson states, 'and who doesnt?  in seattle they have announced the country's first urban food forest.  what it is is a thing where anyone can go in and you can eat fresh organic fruit without paying a dime!  i'm not making this up either.  officials in seattle are saying that this is the first park of its kind anywhere.  i'm thinking 'wait a minute, what about central park?  i used to live in manhattan, those pigeons were good eatin!'  you know who is going to love this urban food farm are the vegans.  in the past i have been a little bit harsh on the vegans, i've called them prius driving fascists, i've called them herbivours.  but now, through no fault of my own, i am one of them!  i have been turned to the dark side!  i no longer do the horizontal mambo with bacon!  here's what happened:  last weekend i got food poisoning.  it wasnt pretty.  let me just say that up until then i didnt even know my ears could vomit!  the irony is that i got food poisoning from a chicken at a very good organic restaurant, and now i am frightened to eat chicken.  my point is, if i have one, is that ever since i had that bad chicken, i havent had any meat at all.  i cant stand the smell of it, it makes me sick.  i cant even wear my assless chaps anymore because they are leather.  i have to wear free range underpants!  i actually tried to grow my own food once, but i couldnt find a store that sells twinkie seeds...'
- leslie bibb
# david milch