+ 'its a great day if you like organic food', craig ferguson states, 'and who doesnt? in seattle they have announced the country's first urban food forest. what it is is a thing where anyone can go in and you can eat fresh organic fruit without paying a dime! i'm not making this up either. officials in seattle are saying that this is the first park of its kind anywhere. i'm thinking 'wait a minute, what about central park? i used to live in manhattan, those pigeons were good eatin!' you know who is going to love this urban food farm are the vegans. in the past i have been a little bit harsh on the vegans, i've called them prius driving fascists, i've called them herbivours. but now, through no fault of my own, i am one of them! i have been turned to the dark side! i no longer do the horizontal mambo with bacon! here's what happened: last weekend i got food poisoning. it wasnt pretty. let me just say that up until then i didnt even know my ears could vomit! the irony is that i got food poisoning from a chicken at a very good organic restaurant, and now i am frightened to eat chicken. my point is, if i have one, is that ever since i had that bad chicken, i havent had any meat at all. i cant stand the smell of it, it makes me sick. i cant even wear my assless chaps anymore because they are leather. i have to wear free range underpants! i actually tried to grow my own food once, but i couldnt find a store that sells twinkie seeds...'
- leslie bibb
# david milch